Me and the Atma a week or so ago. By my car, drinking water, reading plates, naked bums.
She left to go back east with my mother.
I don’t know what to make of the emotion. Once again. I’m grateful to feel, but I miss her so much. I never loved someone like I love Atma - it’s the realest form of unconditional love I’ve had. I can find almost nothing redeeming about the feeling of longing, missing. It’s a part of the vast canvass of the soul I wish I could actually avoid. It’s complicated, for sure. And my connection to her started before she was born — when I was pregnant and ended up miscarrying but stepping in at that exact moment in time to care for Atma, since her mother left. And even though I ‘know’ that it’s not my time in regards to children to take care of one, I would do it in a heartbeat for her. But my mother does that far better than I could anyway. If only we weren’t 1000s of miles apart..:(